Today I reported for threatening behaviour a low-life (male in his twenties) to the police which prompted me to write about intimidation. There are times when you have to cut your losses especially when you’re outnumbered and you’ll probably have a better life in other people’s company. And move way when you’re physically threatened especially if you don’t know anything about self-defence or friends to help you and perhaps you’ve had no help from the police. (Incidentally if you have to report something to the police don’t apologise for it: be clear and firm but try not to be rude – they have to deal with a lot of unpleasantness as it is). Reporting someone can also help other people. But this post isn’t about that. This is about standing your ground on other less physically threatening occasions and not giving in.
Intimidation can come from family and friends which might well be the worst kind. Throwing away your dreams and ambitions because of family and peer pressure means you’ll only have unhappy life. Would you rather look back and remember all the fantastic things you’ve done, or look back and say “well I never did this and I never did that”. Incidentally there were many things I wanted to do or try but I still haven’t done them. I’ve done that on many occasions and also with colleagues – if I met them now I would run them over in a steamroller. I’m not talking about confrontation. Don’t forget those two motivational phrases (or whatever they’re called) “Don’t get mad get even” – well that’s down to interpretation of how you get even , but the better one is, “While you’re getting even others are getting ahead”. I wish I had learnt that a long time ago. Take it from me – don’t bother getting mad, just get ahead. Writing has helped me focus on what I want to do and as it’s a solo occupation there’s no one to pressure me to do otherwise.
Intimidation from colleagues is another area fraught with career obstacles – again I know from experience. Along with many others I’ve been unfairly criticised, bullied (only once), and isolated (but not lonely) all because I never gave in to other people’s low standards not to mention employers telling me I must lower my standards to help the company’s profits.
I don’t have the answer to office politics as I’ve never been good at it. Lifting weights might help ease the stress a little but it won’t save your career from being wrecked. Having a hobby could lead to all sorts of openings and I only wish I had started a hobby a long time ago – I still don’t have one. All I can say is that there is another way, you just have to try different routes and means, and you’ll meet all sorts of men and women – good, bad, and downright ugly – along the way but try to stay focused on your standards, and raising them higher, and the things that you value.